wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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