he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
