we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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