Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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