We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
