wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
