It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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