Im at strip club and am horny
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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