If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Everyone says I win the strip club
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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