Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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