I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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