Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
