how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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