I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
