I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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