yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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