so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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