was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize