Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
