Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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