Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
