can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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