i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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