the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
