I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
