We're like a lot better than the average bears
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
