Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
