is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
