Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you never un-have a 4some
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
