I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
