I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
