Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize