Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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