It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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