My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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