Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
