Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
