Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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