Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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