He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
