I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
