Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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