he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
