What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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