Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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