True but thats because hes a fetus.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
