i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
