i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
