And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Boobs speak an international language.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
