no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Randomize
