God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
