I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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