I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
