I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
