Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
