Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
