I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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