I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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